(As seen in the Benton Courier, Sunday, Jan. 15, 2006)
Taking a day off:
Arkansas Hospice Angels provide spa day at salon in Saline County
By Lynda Hollenbeck, Benton Courier Staff
East End community resident Mary Bullard recently enjoyed a full day of pampering at a local salon. Bullard, the primary caregiver for her terminally ill husband, was the honored guest of Arkansas Hospice Angels.
The “angels” serve terminally ill patients as well as their caregivers by giving them a “spa day.” Bullard's day of pampering took place at Wild Ivy in Benton. Bullard said her 80-year-old husband, Ray Bullard, suffers from Alzheimer's disease and cancer.
She acknowledged that serving as her spouse's caregiver has been a difficult experience, but added that the two have had “a good marriage.” “And the Lord doesn't put more on you than you can stand,” she said.
“My husband really died two years ago,” she added. “It's really just a matter of time until he's gone. The Lord's got me ready.” Bullard said the two made their “last trip together on Thanksgiving. It's just too hard.” The couple previously did a lot of traveling, going to Florida for two months of the year. “The last two years we haven't been able to do that.”
Bullard said a hospice aide assists her at her home and a neighbor takes care of vacuuming for her. “And our daughter does all our cooking.” She called the spa treatment “a wonderful experience. This is my first time here and I'm 75 years old.”
First off, she received a pedicure. When Wild Ivy's Kristin Barbie had completed that, Bullard told her, “OK, I'm ready for my manicure.” While the manicure was being given, Kim Clatworthy, co-founder of the Hospice Angels program, entered the shop with a colorful bouquet provided by Letta's Flowers & Gifts in Bryant.
Clatworthy and co-founder Dana Davin say the Angels' mission is “consistent with the hospice philosophy in that it brings loving, caring support and pampering services.” The idea for the Angels program was conceived by Clatworthy as a memorial to her friend, Jacquie Carter, an Arkansas Hospice patient who died in January 2004. During the late stages of her illness, Carter often told Clatworthy that she felt lonely and sad “never to be touched.”
In response to her friend's isolation, Clatworthy arranged a spa day for her, complete with limousine service, massage, makeover, glamour photographs and “an evening out on the town.” Carter told Clatworthy that she loved the experience, noting: “Today, people acted like I was normal, like I didn't have a terminal disease.”
About three weeks before Carter's death, Clatworthy talked with her about the fun they had had and how her husband, David, would have the photographs to remember her. “She told me she wasn't ready to die,” Clatworthy said. “I made a promise to her that ‘if you'll just get peace with this, I'll help other people in your name when you're gone.' “
That was the beginning of the program, which has since won a national award presented at a ceremony in Washington, D.C. Clatworthy and Davin shared similar experiences when they came together to formulate the program concept. Davin's father had died the previous year.
The two went to the Arkansas Hospice Foundation, asking if they could incorporate their vision into the Arkansas Hospice mission. “The idea was immediately embraced,” Clatworthy said. Spa Day offers the patient or caregiver menus of services, based on his/her personal preference, needs and physical ability to participate.It could include a full body massage or, if the patient is particularly frail, only a hand or foot massage.
It might be styling a wig, rather than the person's hair. Or it might mean a ‘dry' shampoo if the patient is too weak to be moved from bed. For patients who are able to participate and caregivers, the full Jacquie Carter Spa Day is available, including the limo service and professional photographs. “Regardless of the service, the patient receives attention and nurturing,” Clatworthy said.
In Bullard's case, she received “the works” - a limo ride provided by Executive Limousine, manicure, pedicure, massage, makeover, photographs and lunch at the salon provided by Cater Snax. A representative for the Arkansas Hospice Foundation said Davin and Clatworthy donate not only their time, but also their supplies. “For patients, they bring a little comfort, restore the pride and a touch of everyday life to those who are dying.”
Bullard's Spa Day was actually done in memory of Donna Stackhouse, a 36-year-old hospice nurse, who died suddenly about two weeks ago, Clatworthy said. Stackhouse suffered respiratory distress while driving between calls to hospice patients, was able to pull off the highway and dial 911, but did not recover, Clatworthy said.
Clatworthy said part of her inspiration for the angels program also came from another friend, Nelle Banks, whose family home was the Farmstead structure that is now part of the Bryant School District property. “I helped with her care for several years,” Clatworthy said. “She and Jacquie died nine days apart.”
Arkansas Hospice is a nonprofit, community-based program that has inpatient wings at North Little Rock Veterans Administration Hospital (Fort Roots) and St. Vincent-Doctors Hospital. The hospice program serves 27 counties of the state, Clatworthy noted.
For other news in Saline County, please visit www.bentoncourier.com.
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